Dark Christmas: Six Holiday Noirs

above: Blast of Silence

Tired of the 24-hour The Christmas Story marathon? Don't have it in you to spend another Christmas with the Cranks, or Fred Claus, or Will Ferrell? Join the club. Maybe this year, try on some film noir for the holiday season. Here's an overview of some films that are either holiday themed noir or are holiday movies with a strong touch of the dark side. Either way, just about everyone on this list has been bad.

5. I, the Jury-This 1953 noir was the first Mike Hammer adaptation. It's hobbled by a weak central performance by Biff Elliot as Hammer, but it features glorious cinematography by John Alton and strong work from the beautiful Peggie Castle as a psychotic femme fatale. It also has noir stalwart Elisha Cook Jr in a Santa suit. Let that last line sink in.

4. Christmas Holiday-Don't let title--or the fact that this film stars Gene Kelly and Deanna Durbin--fool you. This is 100% noir from the master himself, Robert Siodmak.

3. LA Confidential- Christmas Ellroy style. The film starts out on Christmas Eve, and all through the jailhouse not a creature is sirring but a bunch of drunk cops and a race riot. If you haven't seen this movie lately, check it out again. It's even better than you remember.

2. It's a Wonderful Life and Meet John Doe-You can see these films as Christmas Capra style, or you can see them as Capra noir-style. Either way, they are the director's darkest films. It's a Wonderful Life is such a part of the culture you can be forgiven if you think it's overexposed. But it's the closest thing America has produced to an indigenous A Christmas Carol, our very own myth of yuletide redemption. It's also a dark, dark film. The film's central passage sees Jimmy Stewart sink to suicidal despair, sees fat cat bankers destroy democracy, and even features Gloria Grahame as a whore. What's more noir than that? Even darker than IAWL, is Capra's Meet John Doe starring Gary Cooper as a man who promises to commit suicide by throwing himself off a building on Christmas Eve. It's not as formally perfect as IAWL, but it's a treat.

1. Blast of Silence-Do you hate Christmas? Do you hate everything and everyone, including yourself? Then have I got the perfect holiday movie for you. It's Allen Baron's existential hit man drama from 1961, Blast of Silence. A small-time assassin wanders around New York during the holidays, waiting to fill a contract, not knowing that his end is coming soon. Beautifully shot and sharply written, it's the perfect alternative to too much holiday cheer.